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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

planning, clothes, and your emotions

Today I woke up late and had nothing to wear. All of my work clothes were in a pile waiting to be ironed and I just didn't have time. So I grab some clothes that I rarely wear because they just don't fit right. The cami I picked is a little see through and low cut. My sweater is short on my torso. My pants are just awful in every way - too tight, too long, [pantyline?!?!]. To top it off, I'm pretty convinced it doesn't match and I feel rather odd about wearing this to work. 

Needless to say, I'm sitting at my desk all day, trying to hide from my boss because I'm convinced I'm showing too much cleavage. This is an outfit fail of the worst kind. Particularly because all of the uncomfortable things about this outfit are really affecting my mood. So much so, that I can't believe I didn't scarf a whole box of doughnuts this morning. I really felt like it was the only way to regain control over my out-of-control outfit. I feel like when I look frumpy and like I don't know how to dress, I should eat that way. Have you ever felt this way?

I have over-eaten today. Fortunately, I recognized the problem around lunch time and am prepared to eat healthier and not succumb to my emotions.

Feeling comfortable in your clothing is important for keeping a sane and keeping a positive view of your body image. Losing weight relies so much on planning  - planning your food, workouts, and even clothing. Unfortunately, I'm very resistant to taking any time out of my day for planning. What about you? Are you resistant to planning? How did you overcome it?

The good news is, the reason why I didn't iron last night and didn't wake up on time is because I spent close to two hours last night playing tennis with my boyfriend. I woke up sore and just wanted to stay in bed.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

holiday sabatoge and this week's meeting topic

I weighted-in on Monday and I was up .2 pounds. I guess this isn't a huge failure, since the week before I gained two pounds. But it would have been nice to lose a pound or two.

This is me at 206 lbs. Three pounds lighter than the heaviest I've ever been. I took this in the locker room right before my workout. The mirror was dirty. Gross.

After the meeting, I felt inspired to lose at least a pound the next week. This week's meeting was on tracking. I only track half of the time. That should improve. I talked with a WW representative at the meeting, and she we talked about the .2 gain mostly happened on the weekend. This is no surprise to me, seeing as the weekend is 30% of the whole week and I know the realities and lack of control of weekend eating. I was confident I was going to lose some weight this week, but on Sunday night I had a few beers and that turned into a few slices of pizza.

Regardless, I'm glad I went to the meeting and left with the inspiration to do better this week. However, that was quickly thwarted by a looming holiday. Easter is this weekend, and I'm breaking my schedule, which terrifies me. I'm leaving town Wednesday night to visit my family - a term synonymous with lots of food. I'm also scared because that turns Thursday and Friday into an extended weekend. Monday through Friday I'm great at tracking. Now I'll be in a foreign kitchen, stuck with foreign meals. Since I'm a vegetarian, the only thing my family can think to feed me is pasta and potato salad. Also, my boyfriend's mom makes the best quiche and German Chocolate Cake.

Already discouraged by this thought, I sabotaged myself with a brownie - well two brownies. And while I don't even know how to track them, because they were huge, I'm determined to be prepared for this weekend.

extended holiday weekend survival plan:
Workout every day this week, even while vacationing. Taking a run at my parent's place is nice, because of residential sidewalk (something Tallahassee seriously lacks).

No eating in the car during the five-hour trip.

Eat light (and track!) on the days I'm still in town and able to stick to a routine.

Go shopping while on vacation and stock my parent's fridge with fruits and vegetables and make sure I have a say in the Easter dinner menu.

Wish me luck. Do you have any suggestions for surviving the Easter weekend?

Friday, April 15, 2011

the healthy weekend roundup

(from Daizi Zheng)

You did it! We made it to another weekend! Here are some heath and motivation related posts I found interesting and inspiring.

How to make it happen when you just don't wanna (When I Grow Up Blog)-  a guide to doing it.
The weekend realities of weight management (Weighty Matters) - explains why it's important to stay on top of your weight loss during the weekend.

5 Simple ways to Overcome Insomnia (Zen to Fitness) - I think I could really take this advice.

Vegan Overnight Oat Parfaits (Oh She Glows) - I'm pretty sure these things are going to change my life.

Farmer's Lunch Sandwich (The Kitchn) - This looks healthy and delicious.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

eating on a schedule

Do you find it necessary to eat on a schedule? What about living on a schedule?

My schedule has been screwed up all week, and I am a little overwhelmed trying to get it back together. I work a 8 - 5 job, and am usually up at 6:45 a.m. But the other night, I couldn't sleep and stayed up until 3 a.m. This threw me into tumultuous day of eating at weird times.

I'm a morning eater and recovering morning binge eater. There were times in the past where I could consume more than 2,000 calories before 9 a.m. I am really sensitive about my breakfasts. If I don't plan them out the night before (or don't wake up early enough to cook) I usually eat something bad.

So, staying up late the other day meant I was late to work and didn't even walk into my kitchen in the morning.
Instead, I walked to the coffee shop across the street and ordered a sugary coffee drink and a large bagel with cream cheese. This kept me full until about 3 o'clock. Then I ravenously consumed a huge salad, but still didn't feel full. I had an early dinner at 5 p.m. I went out for drinks at 10 p.m. At the bar I was starving, so I caved and ordered fried mushrooms.

Since I stayed out late last night, I started the whole cycle of unhealthy eating again this morning with a sugary coffee drink and a cookie.

these things happen....
but they need to happen less. 
The good news is, I've tracked all of this.

Scheduled eating is very important to me, because I'm still working out some food issues. Many food programs, including Weight Watchers, remind you to never let yourself get hungry. Twice yesterday I was starving.

Here's what it looks like:

Here's what my normal day looks like:

my plan of action to get back on an appropriate eating schedule
- make some time in the evening to think about what you're going to do the next day
- go to bed early

Do you have an eating schedule? Or do you have any tips for getting back on schedule?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

weekly meeting topic: making "you time"

Image from

I hauled my butt to a meeting, where I gained 2.6 pounds. This is really no surprise, considering I was off the program for two weeks. Still, it's a little disappointing that I could lose sight of my goal.

This week's meeting was about finding time for yourself, so you don't go nuts. This is important. If you are struggling to find calm in your life, chances are you're going to lose sight of your goals. 

make time for yourself
Figure out how much you'll need. Thirty minutes? An hour? A day? A week? 

do something you'll enjoy
A lot of the talk at the meeting had a "make time for exercise" spin. Well, yes. Try to make time for exercise. But make sure that this "me time" is gratifying and leaves you feeling satisfied and accomplished. It doesn't necessarily have to be relaxing, like yoga. It can be strenuous or rigorous. I think the end result you're going to want is a feeling of calm and satisfaction. So if exercising will leave you stressed and annoyed (as is often the case when I realize I can't run a mile straight), maybe skip it. Your sanity might make you more likely to skip on a stress binge. At our meeting we also discussed reading, napping, and cooking as options.

do it by yourself
You're surrounded by people practically every second of every day. Take this time for solo action.

my favorite "me time" activities
Since I'm broke I like to:
hot tub (illegally sneaking into apartment hot tubs)
cook a decadent meal
get a manicure
walk in a park

self indulgence time
I'm rather self indulgent when it comes to taking time to relax. I've been able to manipulate time to work in a lot of these activities. How do I do this? Well, it's a priority. When you're reading a book instead of doing the dishes in your sink, don't sweat. They'll get done (eventually, right?). Don't feel guilty for taking time to take care of yourself.

how I make time
- reading is very important to me. I make sure I skip the Netflix in the evening, go to bed early, and read a chapter or two in bed.
- walking/stretching/exercising - skip that lunch break. I get the majority of my workouts done at lunch, and I love it. It makes the day go by much faster. Eat lunch at your desk afterward (a lot of weight loss supporters think desk eating is a terrible idea).
- Skip the TV. Seriously. I don't have cable, and it makes the greatest difference.
- cook for the week: cut down on cooking time by working a lot of meals around one menu item like potatoes or brown rice. Cook that menu item in bulk at the beginning of the week. Put it in the fridge for use in the next couple of dinners. This works great with things that take a while to cook, like rice.
-use that slow cooker: food in in the morning, dinner done in the evening. brilliant.

What about you? What are some of your indulgences and how do you make time for them?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

about my health holiday

So, I've spent all week practically binging on whatever I could get my hands on. It's been two weeks since I've been to a Weight Watchers meeting and I'm terrified to go back tomorrow.

Hi. My name is Heidi. I've started this blog because I'm sick of just reading weight loss blogs. I want to be part of the dialogue. I want to track my progress, my set backs, and my success. I hope to share my experiences with others and learn from their advice. Hopefully, this blog will hold me accountable. A lot of the time, I feel like I cannot share my food and body image issues with the people who are closest to me. Does anyone else feel this way?

Here is some information about me:

 I recently started Weight Watchers for the third time in my life. I successfully lost 40 pounds on my first attempt. I eventually gained it all back and about a year after being off of the program, I returned for a brief re-try, but I quit in about a month. It's been more than three years since I've been in weight watchers. This time I hope to lose the weight and keep it off.

I am 24 years old. 5 feet 2 inches tall. I'm also 70 pounds over my recommended healthy weight. I don't believe I have ever weighted 135 pounds, or ever will, but it's a nice thought. I'd be very happy to weight 145 pounds.

I like exercising. It's never a chore for me. But I often have a hard time finding the motivation to go.

I have a severe binge eating problem usually brought on by the slightest level of stress.

I am a vegetarian. You'll only find vegetarian recipes on this blog.

For now, I will be focusing my weight loss on Weight Watcher's program. However, I hope to figure out how to eat mindfully without the help of a program or diet. Regardless, I'm done sitting around reading about other people's weight loss success. I'm ready to engage in my own.